Friendship can be a rich and rewarding relationship between and for good people. Friendships involve communication, mutual respect, mutual benefit, shared experiences, and personal growth.
“In essence, [friendship] involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection: as a result, the individuals take pleasure in each other’s company, communicate with a high degree of intimacy, and display mutual benevolence, each sincerely wishing the other well.” (Objectivism: The Philosophy of Ayn Rand, page 134)
Aristotle wrote a thoughtful essay on friendship, which can be found in his Nicomachean Ethics. Here’s a brief summary of his points.
Aristotle categorized friendships into three types. The first of these are “friendships of utility,” in which both parties benefit from each other in useful, practical ways. Then there are “friendships of pleasure,” where people are drawn to each other for the pleasure they get from the relationship, frequently from shared interests.
And then there is the highest form of friendship: “friendships of the good.” This type of friendship is based on mutual respect and admiration for each other’s virtues. Each wishes the best for the other and for the sake of the other, and typically these relationships are long-lasting and deep.
Aristotle emphasized the role of virtue in true and valuable friendships. Friendships based on goodness and virtue are the most stable, fulfilling, and long-lasting. According to Aristotle, friendships require mutual recognition and reciprocity, with each party committed to the other’s well-being.
A valuable aspect of friendship is that a friend mirrors oneself, helping one to understand and improve oneself. In this way, there is an aspect of personal improvement and growth contained in friendships. Aristotle thought that friendships were not only important, but essential to a good, fulfilling life. He held that friendship was one of the greatest aspects of a good life.
I experience my friendships emotionally and intellectually. I feel pleasure when I share an experience with a friend, e.g., a book, a movie, a joke, a musical performance, a sunset. And the pleasures I experience with my friends far outweigh any sadness or disappointment involved. Therefore, friendships add to my general sense that “life is good” and motivates me to continue to nurture and invest in them.
Carl B. Barney
March 11, 2024
Your essay struck a personal chord, especially as I’ve moved to the winter of my life. Recognizing and understanding the days are finite, I’ve taken stock of the importance and significance of those that have flown in the orbit of my shrinking sphere. “Relationships require time and intention, but when they blossom, they do so with trust, admiration, and awe. They bring with them some of the sweeter joys that life has to offer.”
The golden threads of friendship weave the fabric of happiness. Continuing your appreciation of Aristotle, I recently came across this paraphrased quote. He reasoned;
For the cultivation of virtuous friendships built with intention,
based on a mutual appreciation of character and goodness.
Knowing these friendships could only be strengthened over time,
and if they did thrive, they’d last for life.
We are, and we live through, the people we spend time with.
The bonds we forge with those close to us directly shape the quality of our lives.
Life is too short for shallow friendships.
Thank you for this quote, “A valuable aspect of friendship is that a friend mirrors oneself, helping one to understand and improve oneself.” All of my life I have put my work before my friendships. I now crave community to share knowledge, intimate thoughts, and belly-laughter. Now I can add my ongoing growth to the list. I choose to be with friends today!